INT. A TRAILER - PHOENIX, MARYLAND - NIGHT


YOU sit next to YOUR BETTER HALF on a strayed, stained couch while thoughtfully munching popcorn. In the foreground, a TV set flickers. On it, a Hilary Duff DVD plays (any will do; after all, each is essentially the same).

Your partner turns to you. A dismayed look, one akin to smelling a dead rat, fouls his/her face. You hang your head in commiseration, sympathizing. Another hard-earned $3.95, along with 90 minutes of your lives, flushed down into the sewer. Forever gone.

  
 

YOU
  This is the biggest pile of monkey excrement that I have ever had the misfortune to watch.  
 
  Suddenly, your partner retrieves a loaded .45 from beneath the couch and hands it to you. With quiet aplomb, you blast the offending set into ten gazillion pieces. Both of you beam at each other. Triumphant fanfare BLARES in the background. Midgets jump out of cars. Mules begin to dance in the street. Potted plants laugh and sway maniacally.  
 
  FADE OUT.
 
  ROLL CREDITS.
 
I'm angry!
I'm angry, too!
 
 
   

If you're reading this, chances are you've experienced something similar to the scene above. Maybe you proceeded to shoot your "E" News-loving neighbor; maybe you just gave your couch a stern look and shook your fists. No matter. We've all come to the inescapable conclusion that a half-brain dead platypus could concoct better films than those coming out of Hollywood.

Still, talk is cheap.

Now is the time to extricate your indignant behind out of that Laz-E-Boy and start creating something yourself!

   
Ease on down the road....